Thursday, May 15, 2014

True Love Exibits True Servanthood

Today for NLQ I posted a bit in Quoting Quiverfull out of the mouth of Nancy Campbell, guilt-tripper-inducing controller of everyone in her sphere like many Evangelical extremists. She was trying yet again to tell mothers that they were to serve in their household as servants to their children and husband.

I don't have a problem with people acting as servants or servers of those they genuinely desire to do as a blessing. It's like I don't mind serving my own husband dinner as he sits heavily down at the dinner table, tired and worn out from a hard day at work. I want to bless him and honor him for the work he does to support our family out of his love by serving him out of my own love for him.

Where the problem is with Nancy and her insisting that all mothers must sacrifice and serve is in the hide-bound insistence that this is the only role a woman should have and the only way to run a family. Things like this simply make my blood boil -

As the years have moved on, I realize more and more that it is a privilege to serve. It is innately in us as mothers to serve. We only reject it because of our selfishness, and in the end we miss out. For God blesses us when we serve. We are fulfilled when we serve. We are born to serve.
No, I don't think it is innately in anyone to serve and to pretend otherwise is disingenuous, like much of what Nancy claims. Most of us that serve and serve our families do it out of love, not duty, not gender role, not out of hormones but out of deepest love for our family.

The whole gendered aspect she pushes for service is repellent to me as well. Last night I watched a documentary on a woman who falsely confessed to a murder she didn't commit in order to protect a beloved family member. It's a film named "Half Ton Killer" 

Now, that's not the service/servanthood I'm talking about, it's what her husband did to lovingly serve her, Mayra Rosales, for you see Mayra was significantly impaired by lypodemia and obesity. He alone cared for her, bathed her, helped her with her daily needs without complaint. When asked why he said he did it because he loved Mayra.

Under Nancy Campbell's guidelines of women serving their families and men being the leader/taskmaster/head there is no room for a man to serve his wife, or his kids. Servant hood is a female designation related to motherhood. What would Nancy say to the gentle massaging of lotion into her flesh that her husband does. The helping her empty her bladder?

Personally I thought it was touching to see a man helping his wife with serious medical issues stay alive with such tenderness.

Serving others is such a necessary thing, such a good work that I always admire those that do it selflessly without any hope of compensation. This world needs more Mr. Rosales, Mother Theresas, Jesuses, the lady that volunteers at the soup kitchen, the man helping kids to read in the schools, hospital visitors, lovers of people and way less Nancy Campbells with their limiting to what serving others should be.

For me personally serving others always makes me feel like I'm the one getting. But I'm not willing to put up with that service being limited by small mindedness.

Plus there is a happy ending to Mayra Rosales sacrifice of trying to cover for a family member. It brought Mayra and her day to day challenges with her health into the spotlight of those that had the power to help her. She's now lost over 800 pounds and has hopes to adopt her sister's children. I hope she is successful in getting the children.

When I googled for an image or a servanthood mother to put with the NLQ piece most of the images were of Mother Theresa and other nuns, not smiling Stepford Evangelical wives, which really tickled me.

Serving others is a beautiful thing, not a duty.

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