The parody falls flat on many different points but for me there were two huge glaring things that stood out.
First, this is the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah we're speaking of, a marriage that ends with Rebekah deceiving her husband at the very ending of his life by having tricked him into blessing the second son. She was pissed off with Laban because he married two Hittite women. I understand not being happy with the choice of your relative but who does that to their son? Some cold-hearted woman playing favorites among her children, some role model there.
Isaac wasn't the most honorable guy either, he pretended his wife was his sister because he was afraid of getting his ass kicked in the land of the Philistines. Both Rebekah and Isaac were due some universal reciprocity or karma by their own actions. They both were deceitful.
Yes, Von, universal reciprocity is a real thing. I've heard it preached from many pulpits.
Going back to when Isaac and Rebekah married it states quite plainly that she has to give consent to marry Isaac.
Genesis 24:8 8 If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.”
Genesis 24:54-60 When they got up the next morning, he said, “Send me on my way to my master.”
55 But her brother and her mother replied, “Let the young woman remain with us ten days or so; then you may go.”
56 But he said to them, “Do not detain me, now that the Lord has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master.”
57 Then they said, “Let’s call the young woman and ask her about it.” 58 So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?”
“I will go,” she said.
59 So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham’s servant and his men. 60 And they blessed Rebekah and said to her,
Regardless of Von's wishful thinking the Bible clearly demonstrates that there is a measure of the woman's consent that must be considered. Sure, the father had sent for a woman from among his own people but the woman still had the power to say no. In no way does Von's view give a woman any rights of her own, it's all shut up, lay down and put out as the subtext to his views of marriage.
Matthew Henry's Bible Commentary has this to say about consent in those passages:
As children ought not to marry without their parents' consent, so parents ought not to marry them without their own. Rebekah consented, not only to go, but to go at once. The goodness of Rebekah's character shows there was nothing wrong in her answer, though it be not agreeable to modern customs among us.The second point is a tiny niggling one that has to do more with Von's own assumptions that all retirement homes, or what they used to term 'nursing homes' are horrible places where busy worldly children warehouse the elderly. I would suggest that he hasn't spent any time in the last decade at any of the many options for seniors that either shouldn't or decide they won't live alone or in a family member's home.
To say it is the way of the world to shut away the elderly is another lie he's picked up likely from an unreliable source like Fox News. All fear tactics all the time. These days there are all sorts of facilities for the elderly, such as programs during the day at community senior nutrition sites or adult clubs and daycare. There are huge leisure villages where you can live completely independent or with some level of care. Many places offer all sorts of activities for seniors to keep their minds and bodies sharp, such as golf, dancing, game nights, swimming, and outings. Most places offer on site amenities such as a beauty shop, hot tub, computer area, libraries and activities.
Even with families offering to take care of the elderly relatives many will chose to go into a retirement community rather than expect the family to care for them. There's nothing wrong with realizing you're better served by entering a senior living facility. It breaks no Biblical law and it's not like you are putting your loved one out on an ice floe to die.
It used to be shameful the way the elderly were treated in facilities but no longer. It is a valid choice.
Wake up and smell the espresso, Von. Your parody is flat and dated.