Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Refusing to Agree to Sex Whenever Requested in a Marriage

Someone has been bandying about this old Martin Luther quote as proof that no sex in a marriage equals a dissolving of the marriage.

XXII Notice that St. Paul forbids either party to deprive the other, for by the marriage vow each submits his body to the other in conjugal duty. When one resists the other and refuses the conjugal duty she is robbing the other of the body she had bestowed upon him. This is really contrary to marriage, and dissolves the marriage
Not quite so fast there, buddy boy Von. Before you move on to the next walking vagina to marry make sure you have that quote by Paul in it's entirety.

1 Cornithians 7:3 -6
 New International Version (NIV)
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

Aha! So it's not just a streetcar running one way placing all the requirements on the ladies, is it? Doesn't give you that 'out' on your marriage at all, does it?  Plus, as Paul says, this is his opinion, not a command. As you read further down that passage Paul states again that this is his advice, not straight from God. Marriage advice from a man.

So what does True Love do when one partner is sick or simply stressed out and doesn't feel like they want to be having horizontal fellowship that day or night?  True Love doesn't keep pestering and petty whining about their marital rights, it is patient and kind, perhaps there is an acceptable compromise, or True Love sees what's going on and pitches in to resolve whatever is going on to impede that connection. 

Demanding your rights is about the surest way to turn off your mate, male or female, and it's not very loving at all. It shows you're selfish, self-involved and it's always all about you. That's not very loving and certainly not manly at all. It's borderline rape if your partner gives in to shut you up. 

True love doesn't rape.

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