Friday, July 19, 2013

Reasons For Marrying Besides Horny Virginity

Von Ohlman of True Love Waits been talking again about all the great reasons besides keeping that cherry unpopped this side of the marriage bed to marry young. I don't know why he doesn't just recommend mastur-you-know-what to keep the youngsters from trying to defile each other. There is not one specific direct banning of solo love in the Bible.

 Don't even try to bring up Onan. He was slain by God for his stinginess, his heart attitude, his defrauding his brother's widow/his new wife, from being able to have a child. Not for self love.

 Funny that 'True Love' is in none of the answers and questions.

Off-topic, my favorite song about love


I love it that God has a sense of humor.

Anyway, back to my looking at Von's reasoning and why it just might not be the best of ideas.

1) And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;.
And this was said, in paradise, in Eden, before there was any question of fornication.
Not marriage. Not marriage at all. What's to stop someone from having a full life filled with friends, pets and what not, not being 'alone' but not marrying either? Marrying is simply a state of being, it's not the be all and end all of existence.


2)Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. 
Obviously the later we marry our children the less they can do this.
 So what does Von say is the 'right' age to marry those young 'uns off to start having babies? He has yet to state the age, which tells me it's probably much younger than the legal age of consent. Is it 'Warren Jeff's  Jailbait Young' or 'Charlie Manson's Girls Young'?

Do the math on the marrying at, say, picking an age, 16 years old. Average fecundity, let's figure a new baby every 18 months. Without decent medical care, pre-natal care and preventative medicine you're looking at may be 5 or 6 children before something goes wrong. You might beat the odds and pop out ten or fifteen, but without education, taking good care of your body and having decent medical care from a doctor or an actual educated licensed REAL midwife it is not very likely.

People who marry older than that, have had time to know who they are and what they want out of life tend to approach child bearing differently, educating themselves on the risks, whys and hows of child birth. They may go with a licensed midwife but most of them will also make sure they take the best care of themselves before, during and after pregnancy and have no problem consulting medical help when there is any question of the safety or health of their fetus.

It's also not that uncommon to find families that started when the parents were a bit older that have just as large of families as those from young marriages.

3) Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. 
Why would we want our sons to wait for this favor? Or our daughters from providing it?
 Yes, but there are also warnings about fools and the folly they bring upon themselves. Does it not say in the Bible that there is a time and a season for everything under the sun? Why rush the time when all it does is make it much more difficult for the couple to have a successful marriage?

Marriage is a blessing, a favor, but it can also be a curse when rushed into without much love between the two.

 4) A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife…One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; …(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Marriage and family are the training ground for eldership (and deacons). At what point do we want to start that training?
 That training for leadership is something that starts in childhood, not in a child marriage. How you lead and how you serve teaches more to your child about leadership than heartlessly throwing them headlong into marriage before they are emotionally and spiritually mature.

Plus, the way that scripture reads it sounds like polygamy or polyandry was more the norm in those days than one man and one woman. 

5) And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 
God desires marriage in the youth in order to seek a Godly seed.
 Again, you are interpreting this very loosely.  Many Bible Scholars believe this refers to the practice of men in that time being able to put aside or divorce their wives on the thinnest of pretext instead of dealing with whatever disunity there is in the marriage. Wife of his youth doesn't mean the twelve year old your daddy picked for you, forced you to marry and then you raped.

6)But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; 12Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. 13And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 14I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15For some are already turned aside after Satan. 
God commands younger women to marry, bear children, and guide the house… that they may give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. Paul says unmarried women had already turned aside after Satan.
 Semantics, you say tomato, I say tomoto. This passage is speaking of younger widows, not unmarried girls.

Paul was speaking to a specific church, in a specific time about specific issues that church was dealing with. It wasn't meant to be taken as the 11th Commandment.

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Love is really that thing worth living for. It's the only thing that lasts, cannot be corrupted or corroded by time. It's the first and last message of our lives. It's the greatest power in this world and the purest of feelings.

Does anyone really think that allowing someone else to dictate to you who you will love actually works in the long term? The human heart will love who it will love regardless who is forced upon it.

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